Twenty-five years ago, at the vital age of 25, a gargantuan Scot & a stocky Yank carried a bucket of wee balls and Mashie up one of Scotland’s mightiest mountains. Upon reaching the peak, they rested and that was good. The Yank, having been both the carrier of the club and the whiniest of the two, stepped up to the ledge first and let the second ball he swung at really fly across field and county. The Scot followed and so it went until dusk, or when they ran out of balls, or when they realized they hadn’t had a pint for at least a few hours. On the trek down, they correctly guessed that this cross-country golf-ball whacking folly would end up being one of the most memorable parts of their 10-day golfcation and a pub or two later, they came up with a plan: To, quite literally, golf across Scotland – golf’s homeland.
It’s been 25 years since and while not forgotten, reason, intermittent sobriety and family life has held that quest at bay. But eventually, as senility set it, the gauntlet was unearthed. Eight years of staring at the gauntlet later, the Yank-n-Scot along with four other mentally stricken "golfers", picked up that gauntlet and The Gentlemen Gouffers of Gargunnock were born.
Q & A:
WHAT EXACTLY IS GOING ON HERE?
Six (6) men of experience will tee off on the eastern cost of Scotland near Edinburgh at 5:23 AM, Wednesday the 21st of June. Via providence, this also ends up being the precise day and time of the Summer Solstice. We will then hit golf balls non-stop…over hill and dale, through town and garden, out of thistle and dung…for 5 straight days until we reach the western shore of Scotland whereupon reaching the cliffs of the western shore, we will hit that very first golf ball that we hit out of the eastern shore's surf 5 days earlier, into the ocean's surf of the western shore. Who are these pillars of the community? See the ABOUT tab above.
We will be armed with a single adjustable club (expands from 18” to 38” and the head adjusts from putter to gap wedge: http://www.divnickgolf.com/). We’ll be loaded down with Golf Balls – shag balls, GGG logo balls, foam balls, bar coded WiFi balls, glow balls; and Cameras - camcorders, cell phone cameras, digital cameras, Go Pro, even a drone-mounted camera; Tracking Devices - a hiking GPS, cell phone streaming and tracking apps, Fitbits, more counters than you can count (for charitable tracking and record keeping), and a Backpack full of Supplies - safety equipment, refreshments, tools, hydration, clothing, beverages, etc.
OK, I GET THAT. BUT WHY?
Firstly, because it’s never been done. Ever. Seriously, in today’s day and age, how often can one say they are doing something that’s never been done?
Secondly, or I mean…Firstly; definitely! - Firstly: For the children. Providence (karma, fate, spirit, kismet) has been working overtime with and for us and one of the greatest series of alignments resulted in bringing The Shepherd’s Crook organization to our attention. This remarkable group works worldwide to find permanent families for orphans with special needs. I MEAN COME ON! Barring giving each one of them a puppy as well, can you think of anything more worthy of a portion of your support? [Update: I was just told yesterday that each orphan gets a hand-made lamb shortly after arriving at their new home] I could and would go on and on, but I’m already 3 months behind in getting this site up and running so instead, please go to their website for more information (www.TSCOrphans.org) and then if you feel so moved (you’re a seriously awful person if you aren’t moved…I mean, like, atrocious and I therefore ask that your type get off our webpage and just go back to your baby seal clubbing videos), if you are moved, please click DONATE above and choose one or more of the 3-4 methods of donation to support their efforts. The six of us are covering every cost of this adventure and therefore Every Single (tax deductible) Penny Donated will go directly to The Shepherd’s Crook. Truly – we all thank you in advance.
Thirdly, I never make a list without 3 items. Come up with something magnanimous, meaningful or entertaining and just presume that’s our ‘thirdly’. Just tossing out some suggestions: We are all ~50 years old so it was now or never., or, We’ll create memories not only for us but hopefully for all those with which we cross paths., or, Maybe others will follow in our footsteps and the good becomes ongoing?, or, We’ll lose weight.
WHAT IF SOMEONE OR SOMETHING GETS HIT? IS THIS EVEN ALLOWED?
We’ve gone on practice marches and we believe we’re taking sufficient precautions to avoid (significantly) running afoul of anyone or anything (for example, after much debate, the Rules Committee decided to allow, without penalty, the temporary exchange of golf ball with a foam ball, free lift & throw or paces for hazardous shots (called a 'Kilt-up'), etc.; see GAMEPLAY tab for more details).
As for this being allowed, according to Scottish law – a person is allowed to enter another’s property as long as they proceed directly to the other side of said property without unreasonable loitering. See GAMEPLAY tab for specific regulations governing such things. Plus, really, have you read who we’re doing this for? Only a real seal-clubber would unduly detain such upstanding folk on such a noble quest. (or possibly a hooligan but I heard those have all died out)
WHAT’S THE GARGUNNOCK STUFF ALL ABOUT?
First rule of Gargunnock: You don’t ask about The Gargunnock. Of course you can go to the GARGUNNOCK tab above if you dare.
WHATEVER OTHER QUESTIONS YOU MAY HAVE CAN LIKELY BE ANSWERED BY PAINFULLY CLICKING THROUGH THIS MAKE-SHIFT (OVERLY DETAILED?) WEBSITE (a sincere shout-out THANK YOU to Colin Shepard for volunteering over 20 hours to build this site!). ENJOY AND THANKS FOR PLAYING ALONG!